Thursday, January 13, 2011

Delayed Consequences

So, in my many classes in Child Development, and years in Child Care, I have been taught about immediate and natural consequences. I always struggled with this, because I can't often think of a good one on the spot. Also many times I am so mad, frustrated, or surprised that I am not in the right mind. Jim Fay calls this being "drunk on emotions;" and you can't reason with a drunk. He uses this phrase also when talking about the kids who are upset about a consequence. He says "save the words for happy times." The L&L philosophy is to delay consequences, a new concept for me.

I like the concept because this allows me to step back from the situation by simply saying "oh, looks like I'm going to have to do something about this... but now, later" I then can consult with others, with DH, and think of a good LOGICAL reaction to what has occurred. Problem: I forget!!! I say this and then go about my business. When the time comes for "later" I often forget. I struggle with finding stuff that will work for DS1 especially.

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