Saturday, February 26, 2011

how to deal with Whining

Yesterday DH and I were talking and he suggested that I write in this blog more often. That I make this as a journal entry, and be completely honest with my mistakes and accomplishments. I also want to touch on lessons learned and give a link for love and logic so me readers can go check it out themselves. They have a great email system you can sign up for and get little tidbits of information, and suggestions. There is actually a seminar coming up March 5th in the Salt Lake area. It is a morning session for toddler and preschool parents, and an afternoon session for general information. I would love to go to both, but due to finances I will have to miss it. Too bad cause Jim Fay will be there, so if anyone else is interested I would HIGHLY recommend it!

So, on to today's post. Whining! Agh, nothing drives a mommy more crazy than hearing her child WHINE! Well I guess talking back is right up there too. The little ones have been REALLY whiny lately and the older one has had a mouth on him. He claims that he needs verification on what "talking back" really is, so I told him that if he is responding to an instruction, request, or other, with an attitude attached, then we would consider that talking back and disrespectful. Then I told him "you know when this is happening ha?" Hmmm... that left him speechless. So, when DD was whining this morning, I used the energy drain method I have talked about before, and said "sweetie, when you whine I can't understand you and it REALLY drains my energy. So you are going to have to find a way to give me back my energy. Are you going to pay me back with your toys, or money?" Her response was great-"I got money's!" She ran to the table and got a penny that she had been carrying around and gave it me. "I all done now mommy!" Not a whole lot, but she is 2 years old, so it will do for now, because she showed that she understood the concept. Then my oldest who witnessed this and piped in "what do I have to pay for talking back?" "hmmm.." I said "not money, you don't care about that. You will probably have to pay me back with an extra chore. Bummer."

There are so many ways to use the Energy drain method, and I am not very skilled with it, because it so happens that it only skims the subject in the package that I have. there is a whole CD devoted to the subject, with LOTS of ideas I am sure. That will probably be our next purchase. Another example I heard was when the child comes to to ask you to do something for them, ie: take them somewhere, iron clothes, help with a project; you use the energy if say you have been doing their chore all week, or they had a particularly bad attitude one day "I'm sorry, but I have been using up all my energy to do... I don't have any left to take you to..." I have not tried this one yet, but I'm sure it works like a charm!

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